If you happen to be a woman who remembers being a little girl or you happen to be a father with young daughters you will no doubt understand that Disney Princesses are among the most popular characters ever. You can land yourself in pretty much any country in the world and you will find little girls who idolise these make believe characters and spend hours dreaming about growing up to become a Disney Princess.
This is all well and good as it can be a very good thing for children to have strong and positive role models but there is more to these Disney Princesses than elegant clothes and fairytales. If you take a closer look you will find a group of women who are nothing more than anti-feminist self-centred bimbos. Maybe these Disney Princesses are not the type of role model you want for your children after all.
1 – Cinderella
There is a lot to pick fault with when it comes to Cinderella. For one she meets a prince has a whirlwind romance then as soon as midnight strikes she disappears into the night like a fart in the wind. Yes, we all know the story of Cinderella yet not one person out there can explain to me why those darn glass slippers didn’t return to their prior form of matter when midnight struck. Everything else changed back. The carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the princess herself turned back into a bumpkin yet those glass slippers remain glass slippers. You have to ask yourself what the hell Cinderella was thinking in the first place by wearing glass slippers. High heel shoes look scary enough without adding the danger of trying to walk in a shoe made of glass that could quite easily smash and rip your feet to shreds. Of course I am not a princess so maybe there is some secret that only princesses know and allows them to safely walk around in all kinds of lethal looking footwear.
In the big scheme of things the life of Cinderella is not really that bad despite Disney trying to make it sound like she is living through a Greek tragedy. Sure, she spends the majority of her time cleaning the house and putting up with taunts from her ugly bitch sisters. Yes, it is a little strange that her best friends happen to be rodents but she does live her life without any sense of eminent danger and she even has a Fairy Godmother although she doesn’t realise this until she wants to go to the royal ball in her glass slippers. Think about it, how hard is her life and if it is that hard why didn’t her Fairy Godmother do something long before Cinderella decided she wanted to attend a party?
For some unknown reason this so called Fairy Godmother does sweet bugger all until the wicked stepmother tries to cock block Cinderella from meeting that Prince Charming guy. Could it be that the Fairy Godmother only decides to make an appearance and help out when Cinderella decides she wants to ride on some royal sausage?
Yes, thank you, Disney. Thank you for teaching our young girls that they should do their chores, get married as quick as possible and aspire to nothing else in life.
2 – Belle
On the surface Belle from Beauty and the Beast is one of the most intelligent and bright of the entire Disney princess characters. She is a woman who enjoys reading, she has deep and meaningful thoughts, she has very little money yet she is not just a servant. Belle even manages to have a strong and loving relationship with her father that isn’t ridiculously creepy. Yes, on the surface of things Belle appears to be a well-developed and well-grounded character and that is the very reason her story is the most tragic and damaging of all the Disney stories.
Like many young women born in a small town Belle longs to leave the confines of her town and find some form of adventure. She has ambitions of building herself a better life and finding a man who is worth loving and who loves her back.
As we all know things don’t go too planned for Belle when one day her father heads to town so he can enter his wood chopping machine into the local fair. Several hours after he leaves for town Belle notices that her father’s horse returns without him and a quick investigation later leads Belle to discover that he has being imprisoned by the beast that lives in a seemingly abandoned castle.
To cut a long story short Act number 1 of the story ends with Belle convincing the beast to trade her own life for that of her fathers. Obviously this is just the beginning and we still have Act 2 to witness in all of its horror.
Act 2 is all about every character in the movie doing everything in their power to make Belle fall in love with the beast so the spell that has been cast upon him is broken. What this involves is nothing more than everyone trying their very best to use underhanded powers of manipulation while the beast pretends to act all civilized in order to have her fall in love with him.
The whole point of the spell cast upon the beast was supposed to make sure that he changed himself into a better person. This is because originally he is nothing more than a selfish male chauvinist asshole that cares nothing for anyone other than himself and thinks a woman’s only use in life is having a smoking hot body that he can use to pleasure himself with.
Because this movie is made by Disney everyone knows that Belle does actually succeed in changing the beast into a good person and breaking in the spell. What you might not realise is that this is the very thing that is wrong with Belle and what is wrong with the movie itself. Here we have a movie that is teaching our young children that they can effectively change the man they love in to the person that they want him to be.
Before you all start shouting at me I am the first to admit that men should not be assholes especially towards women. I think they should grow up and become decent and hardworking human beings. The message delivered in this movie is that a woman can change an asshole into a decent human being is very dangerous indeed. When Disney chose to use a strong, confident and beautiful woman as a vehicle to deliver this message to our children they made this message all the more terrible. I say this because any woman who wants to find herself a decent man but has a tendency to date selfish morons is being led to believe that they could follow Belle’s route of changing guys from assholes to a decent person. The truth is that in reality unless a guy happens to have a spell cast on him by an evil witch then he is very unlikely to change.
Nice one, Disney. You have created a character that teaches young girls they should stay in abusive relationships because one day they will be able to change that guy. Think about it. How many times do you hear a woman who is suffering an abusive relationship make the claim that her man is trying to “change”.
3 – Princess Ariel
At first glance Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid seems to be the ideal role model for little girls everywhere. Unfortunately you do not need to dig very deep to find that this Disney Princess is anything but the strong and sensible woman we are led to believe. Sure, she is strong willed but she is also a stuck up and spoilt little girl with no appreciation for what she has in life.
The first thing that we know about Princess Ariel is that she wants to leave the sea and live on the land so she can marry some random man that she knows absolutely nothing about. To make matters even worse the sea that she wants to leave is actually ruled by her father so this is the equivalent of Kate Middleton wanting to leave England because her extravagant pampered taxpayer funded lifestyle is simply not good enough for her.
To give you an idea of just how spoilt and unappreciative this girl is, not to mention the worst role model a young girl could ever have, take a moment to consider that Princess Ariel is not wanting to leave the sea to follow some noble cause she is wanting to leave the sea so she can have wild sex with some random guy she doesn’t even know. Heck, the entire message from the song “That Part of the World” is telling you just how perfect and wonderful her life under the sea is. Obviously a perfect life and being a princess is not good enough for her. To make matters even worse the random guy she is hell bent on humping has a hobby which involves eating some of her best friends.
The biggest problem that Princess Ariel faces in her quest to live on the land and make wild passionate love to some random stranger is the fact she doesn’t have legs. Luckily for her she exists in a Disney cartoon so it is actually possible for her to grow her legs and to do that she must sell her sweet voice to the evil sea-witch, Ursula. To make sure Princess Ariel is the worst type of role model for kids we hear the sea-witch, Ursula tell Ariel that a voice is never going to win over any man. To do that Ariel is basically told that she must use her body as that is the only thing that men are interested in. Yes, thank you very much Disney. We really want our kids growing up believing that men are after only one thing and a woman’s thoughts, feelings and talents are pretty much useless in a man’s world.
Basically when you watch The Little Mermaid you are watching the story of Princess Ariel, a mermaid who tells her family (a family that loves her, supports her and gives her everything imaginable in life) to f**k off so she can go and sell her voice to an evil witch just so she can ride a random stranger like a bronco bull.
Yes, thank you, Disney. You have given our children a wonderful role model in Princess Ariel.
4 – Princess Jasmine
I have no doubt that you are sat wondering what on earth can be so wrong with Princess Jasmine. She has quite a bit going for her. She has a tiger. She attacks the villain and she is one of the very few Disney princesses who was actually born a real princess. Yes, I know that there are other Disney Princesses who were born princesses but Jasmine is one of the few princesses who is only a supporting character.
At first glance Princess Jasmine has a lot going for her. She is a strong, confident woman who wants to live her life by her own rules rather than by the rules that men create and that is a wonderful and rare quality especially for a Disney Princess. Unfortunately this is where the good stuff stops and we are forced to accept that Princess Jasmine is very much a pawn in the Aladdin film.
You see the whole point of the film revolves around whether or not Princess Jasmine will be married by her next birthday and this is important so that the next ruler of Agrabah can be selected. Poor Jasmine, who just so happens to be the sole heir to the kingdom, doesn’t get to be the ruler even when she becomes queen. That job goes to the first random guy she gets married to.
On top of this we see her father spend the majority of the movie trying to find a suitable man for his daughter to marry. Of course this is vital for the plot of the film and is the most important factor in the evil plan that has been hatched by the movie’s villain who happens to desire Jasmine’s hand in marriage so he can become the ruler of the land.
Jasmine, being the strong woman she is, finds the idea of marrying anyone so distressing that she runs away from home. All goes well until she realises that she knows little about life and how to make her way in the world. It is at this point that she is forced to reveal her true identity to the guards who promptly return her to the kingdom and a life of arranged marriages.
Thankfully for Jasmine by the end of the movie she manages to find herself a man to marry of her own choosing. Unfortunately for Jasmine, and anyone who looks at her as an inspiration, because the man is of her chosen she appears to be more than happy to have him dish out orders and for her to follow orders of the men she hated at the start of the movie.
Yes, thank you, Disney. Thank you for teaching our young girls that they everything will be okay as long as they adhere to the social system, give up on their dreams and marry your worst nightmare of a man and do all of this just so you can escape the clutches of a super-powerful potential rapist who would quite happily hump his granny if he thought he would get something out of it.
5 – Snow White
Snow White is the ultimate and original Disney Princess. A character so amazing that all characters who follow will be compared to her. Even her name oozes purity and beauty. This princess manages to live her entire life without any problems, without many thoughts but she is still very lucky.
Snow White is an unfortunate victim of her own circumstances and makes the stupid mistake of trusting an evil looking and scary huntsman who leads her through the woods. Personally, and I am sure you will agree, Snow White is very lucky that this weirdo she trusts to lead her alone into the woods didn’t make an attempt to kill or rape her.
Whilst wondering through the woods, Snow White stumbles upon a lonely cottage where 7 short guys live. Since she is such a trusting young lady she decides just because these 7 short men live in the middle of nowhere pose no danger to her and will have no desire to rape her. She then goes as far to trust an old woman who gives her an apple and doesn’t even for a second think that it might be poisoned. Surely, even someone as trusting Snow White would be suspicious of an old woman who was so determined to give her an apple.
As we all know trusting the old woman and eating the apple was not the best move that Snow White could make but somehow she managed to survive this ordeal because she knows that one day her prince will come and find her. Thankfully for all concerned that prince does show up and she is rescued from having to spend an eternity in suspended animation surrounded by a glass coffin. Oh, and for effect there would have been 7 short guys who would spend their days crying over that glass coffin.
Maybe Snow White is not the worst of the Disney princesses but she does do a good job of teaching young girls that they can fumble carelessly through their lives as long as they have a man to make things all better. Not only that she does a wonderful job of showing young girls that it is easy for them to make friends as long as they are prepared to do everything for them and wait on them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Yes, thank you, Disney. Thank you for giving our young children the worst possible examples of how to behave in life.