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7 Unintentionally Funny Movie Disguises

When it comes to disguises no one does it quite like a Hollywood movie. This is because a Hollywood movie has literally millions of dollars to pay a fleet of makeup artists and wardrobe departments the size of a tropical island.

With such a wealth of utilities at their disposal it is hard to see how any movie disguise would ever appear a little on the hysterically funny or even pathetic side. Amazingly it happens more often that we care to admit. It is as if the makeup and wardrobe department simply gave up at the same time and just threw the actor in front of the camera.

Here we look at 7 Unintentionally Funny Movie Disguises.

Gwyneth Paltrow – Shakespeare in Love

gwyneth_paltrow

The Disguise

Gwyneth dresses herself in men’s clothes and glues a little piece of fluff to her chin which is supposed to be her beard.

Why it is Hysterical

Back in the days before television it was not just Shakespeare who was popular. According to Shakespeare in Love, transvestites and cross-dressing was just as mainstream. Men everywhere wore Brian May wigs and dressed in tights that resembled something from a low budget Robin Hood movie.

It must be due to this cross-dressing fetish that Gwyneth Paltrow thought that she would be able to disguise herself as a man by simply sticking a bit of fluff to her chin. The result is she looks like the worlds least masculine man.

The ultimate fantasy of Coldplay front man, Chris Martian.

Keeping in mind that Gwyneth Paltrow is considered by many to be one of the most beautiful women in the world it is hard to believe that she really believed such a hysterical and minimalistic disguise would fool anyone.

A more plausible explanation for this disguise is that Gwyneth’s husband (lead singer of Coldplay) has some sort of weird fetish for facial hair and the celebrity couples bedroom role play spilt over into a major feature film. This raises a million questions probably best left unanswered if Chris Martin really does make his wife wear facial hair to spice things up a little.

Matt Damon – Oceans Thirteen

The Disguise

A huge rubber nose

Why it is Hysterical

If you are looking to seduce a beautiful woman you may wish to try a different method than that used by Matt Damon’s character in this movie.

The rubber nose that can also pleasure women everywhere.
The rubber nose that can also pleasure women everywhere.

Rather than drugging her in an attempt to distract her Matt Damon and his fellow master thieves decide on an even better method. Apparently Matt Damon is not sexy enough to seduce a woman so he needs a little help. That help comes in the form of some fake tan and a huge rubber nose that makes you look like Gonzo from the Muppet Show.

As we all know there is nothing that makes a woman hotter than fake tan and an oversized rubber nose and huge nostrils.

Angelina Jolie – Salt

The Disguise

A professional rubber and latex face mask.

Why it is Hysterical

In the movie Salt is working for the CIA when she is accused of being a traitor who is on a secret mission to kill the president. As soon as Angelina Jolie gets fingered (sudden influx of Google search results) she needs to remain under the radar the best she can.

A trans-gender operation gone wrong.

How does she go about this? Well, she has obviously being watching Shakespeare in Love over and over so she decides to dress herself up as a man. Realising that sticking a few hairs on your chin is never going to fool the CIA Angelina opts for the use of latex skin applied to her face.

Unfortunately even the use of latex skin is not enough to turn Angelina Jolie into a man. Instead she ends up looking like a cross between a hormonally deficient mid-op transsexual with a butt chin and an 8 year old boy.

Roger Moore – Octopussy

The Disguise

A clown outfit.

Why it is Hysterical

Roger Moore pushes his acting ability to the absolute limit.

The casting director for the Octopussy instalment of James Bond really must have just gave up trying when he decided to give the role of Britain’s most famous secret agent to Roger Moore. It is impossible to imagine Roger Moore as they kind of man that women find irresistible. Maybe whoever cast him in for the movie assumed he could attract women if he hypnotised them with his kinky smirk and raised eyebrow.

Obviously aware that he was not really suited for the role of 007, Roger Moore was 56 when he played 007 in Octopussy; the wardrobe department really had to go above and beyond to hide that fact. It is apparent that they did get tired of constantly trying to hide Roger’s age so they decided that an easier option would be to dress him as a clown.

Woody Harrelson – Anger Management

The Disguise

A man who once played a mass-murderer in Natural Born Killers dresses as a woman.

Why it is Hysterical

Most people were amazed to see the goofy guy from Cheers take on the role of a bad ass serial killer. It is one of those things that really need to be seen to be believed.

Woody is the person on the left.

Woody Harrelson unfortunately let the praise he received for his metamorphosis go to his head when dressed up as a woman, or transsexual she-male if you prefer, for his part in Anger Management.

I don’t know about you but his disguise was that good it was hard to tell despite that jaw line. Not!

Christopher Reeve – Superman

The Disguise

A pair of glasses

Why it is Hysterical

If you happen to be a guy who is stronger than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet and can leap tall buildings with a single bound you can bet your last dollar that everyone on the planet is going to know who you are and what you look like.

Apparently people who live in Metropolis are either blind or stupid.

What makes Superman’s disguise one of the most ridiculous ever is the idea that anyone would be fooled by nothing more than a pair of thick rimmed glasses. Stuffing feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken in the same way that dressing in spandex does not make you a wrestler, Mr Kent.

Arnold Schwarzenegger – Total Recall

The Disguise

A very clever robotic head and women’s clothing.

Why it is Hysterical

Arnold disguised as a woman was not all that funny at the time but when we watch the movie now the penny finally drops when you realise exactly what Arnold was playing at.

Say what you want but this does look very much like Arnie’s house keeper.

Most people look at the robotic female mask that Arnie is wearing and wonder where they have seen her before. Well, wonder no more as we have the answer. Total Recall would have been made around the time Arnie was slipping it to his weird looking housekeeper while his wife was in the next room. Obviously he was so fixated with her he decided to include her in one of his movie.

Like I have just pointed out, the disguise may not have been funny now but it sure as hell is now we know he was dressing up as his mistress. Or maybe he was just looking for an excuse to try on her knickers.

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