Back in the 1990’s been a teenager was a lot different than what it is now. There was no internet like we know it today so teenagers would make regular visits to the cinema. That is why teen movies were probably such big hits during the 90’s. Despite the fact that most of us like to think believe that teen flicks were never our thing and they were nothing more than chick flicks the truth is we did enjoy at least one or two of them.
While this is all well and good there is a problem with most 90’s teen movies and that was their realism. Most of the things that you witness in a 90’s teen movie simply never ever happen in real life. Here we are looking at Things that Only Happen in 90’s Teen Movies.
All Geeks Become Hot Just By Removing Their Glasses
Movie – She’s All That
I am sure that most of us knew a geek and nerdy girl at high school who wore really thick glasses and had no friends. In your average high school teen movie that is set in the 1990’s she would miraculously no longer need those thick jam jar glasses (maybe she was just pretending to need them) and when she takes them off she will become the hottest girl in school. Not only that her whole personality will change and she will not only be clever but sociable, funny and the girl everyone wants to hang out with. If only she had took those jam jar glasses off earlier and if only this worked in real life.
Parties Where the Entire School Shows Up
Movie – Can’t Hardly Wait
I am not for one second suggesting that parties do not happened when you are in high school and I am not suggesting that kids did not throw parties when their parents went away for the weekend. Of course you there are parties when you are in high school. What did not happen but seems to happen in most 90’s teen movies are house parties where the entire school shows up. The jocks, the nerds, the cool kids, the Goths, they are all there. I don’t know about you but unless you went to a high school with only 20 pupils you may have a slight overcrowding problem if an entire school showed up at your house.
Declarations of Love are Over the Top
Movie – 10 Things I Hate About You
Teenage and high school romance can be a difficult and awkward thing. It is when we are learning the ropes and most of us find ourselves fumbling around like a blind man at an orgy. It is just natural.
What is not natural is the way people declare their love in a 90’s teen movie. In the real world your first experience of love can be an overpowering emotion like no other. In a 90’s teen movie people feel the urge to grab a microphone then sing and dance to the entire school as they declare their love for their girlfriend. I mean, who does that?
There is a Teacher Who Really, Really Cares
Movie – Dangerous Minds
Before I get shouted at by teaching professionals everywhere I am not suggesting that your average teacher does not care about their pupils. What I am saying is that if you have a school in a rough neighbourhood then the only hope for the pupils is if you have a teacher who is both sexy and cool. Caring is just not enough.
Only Two White Kids Exist and the Fall in Love
Movie – Clueless
Think about movies such as clueless staring Alicia Silverstone. She is white and her best friend is black. Then her boyfriend to be shows up half way through the movie and he also happens to be white. Of course his best friend is black just to make things balance out.
Ridiculously Motivating Speech by Coach at Half Time
Movie – Varsity Blues
In Hollywood there is nothing like a motivational speech from a coach half way through the football game that you are losing. Of course the coach is ridiculously passionate about, not only the game, but life. He presents the idea that winning the football game is the same as winning in the life you are about to embark on outside of high school and you are just so motivated you rush onto the field and win.
Unfortunately, in the real world such coaches are statistically destined to lose at least 50% of the time.
A Virgin is a Sign of Good Character
Movie – Cruel Intentions
Like it or not but people, teenagers included, have been having sex since the beginning of time and the world of your average 90’s teen movie is no different. Actually there are sometimes in a movie where a little loving really does help the plot move along. The idea of sex in a 90’s teen movie is also a very convenient way for screenwriters to easily show that a girl is of good character. All good girls of good character in 90’s teen movies must be virgins. Why they cannot enjoy a little role in the hay like the rest of the people in the movie is beyond me.
Everyone is Having Unprotected Sex, No one Gets Pregnant or an STD
Movie – American Pie
Think about movies such as American Pie. Actually think about any 90’s teen movie or even horror movie. They all have a love scene or six in them and you will notice that when these love scenes span out there is not one fumbling around so that safe sex can be practised. Amazingly no one in the movie ever has to deal with unwanted pregnancy or an STD as a consequence.
Every Teenager is a Superb Musician
Movie – Empire Records
It is not uncommon to walk through a high school and find a large percentage of the pupils who claim to play an instrument. Unfortunately most of them are not very good at playing the instrument they claim to play. This is not the case in 90’s teen flicks such as, Empire Records. In such movies the kids can pick up any instrument knowing to man and rock around the stage like The Rolling Stones.