A Geeks Guide to Picking up Women

Believe it or not but approximately 50% of the world’s population are women. This means that wherever a man may go he is highly likely to see a woman. This is a good thing because men do enjoy looking at women and will actually go to great lengths just to see one. That said while men do enjoy looking at women only a few of us seem to be any good at taking the next step and interacting with a woman.


This is especially true of the male geek and although your average male geek probably has a better chance of attracting a mate than the rest of the male population he does tend to lack one thing and that is dating skills or knowledge.

Don’t worry if this sounds a little like you as this is easily fixed and all you need is this geek’s guide to picking up women and dating.

Find the Greatest Population Density.

Women tend to be like zebras and move around in packs and this is especially true when women attend social events or occasions. This is where you as a geek will need to imagine yourself as a tiger. That is right a big successful dating tiger.

You may find the idea picking up a woman from a group of women rather daunting but I assure you it is definitely the way forward.

The thing is, just like zebras, women move around in groups because it makes the feel safer and more secure. This in turn means that women in groups will be more daring and relaxed which is why, if you can bring yourself to hit on women in a group, your chances of you getting involved in a threesome is greatly increased. The main thing here is that women in groups feel safer and protected so they will be more confident and open with your advancements.

Not only are women in groups easier to pick up than women on their own it is also worth remembering that picking up women can be a contact sport which means the more women you contact the better you will do. The more women in a room the greater your chances of success.

You need to look for a place where groups of women go to hang out and socialise. The higher number of women the better your chances of success. Look for a place with an open bar, it relaxes your nerves and makes your bad jokes less notable.

Dive Right in Without Checking the Depth of the Water.

Now that you have found your perfect location to go fishing forget about building up your confidence, trying to overcome nerves or waiting for the right women. You do not often see a tiger waiting for the right zebra now do you? What you see is the tiger jumping on in there and grabbing what he can.

Besides by jumping in there without thinking you are not giving your nerves a chance to kick in and you will radiate confidence to everyone in the room which is never a bad thing when trying to pick up women. Women love confidence.

Be Good Looking.

There is no point heading on out to your chosen venue if you happen to be funny looking. I don’t mean funny looking like you have a big nose or a funny hair style I mean darn right funny looking like something out of Star Trek. I also do not mean that you ‘think’ you look funny looking like most people with confidence problems do.

The point here is the woman that you are going to pick up will probably look half decent so it is only polite to return the favour. Make sure you trim your nasal hair, brush your teeth and have a shave.

Make a point of trying to smell good. What you are aiming for here is to at least look like you may smell the same as Pierce Brosnan who just looks like he smells good.

Learn the Signals.

Everything else is a waste of time if you don’t take the time to learn the signals. Take the time to learn a bit about body language because the last thing that you want is to get yourself confused when she says ‘bite me!’

This can lead to restraining orders and all kinds of other legal problems.

Seeing it Through.

So you manage to do all of the hard work and get her back to your pad and can finally check out your conquest in properly lit room. At this point you may be horrified, slightly disappointed or even have a look on your face as if you have just tried to fit a coat hanger inside your gob.

They key here is regardless of what the result of natural light may be you need to understand that by this point you have actually entered yourself into a contract. A contract and an agreement in which you have promised this woman that you will sexually satisfy her once she accompanies you back home.

The hardest part of this is actually initiating the whole physical act of love. If you happen to be pretty wealthy and have a pool you can always use this as an excuse to get naked but failing that then you may wish to try my signature move which usually involves three back flips while removing my pants, a double somersault with pike and the first verse of killing me softly.

Once you’ve done that it is a home run and you just need to wake up in the morning and make some French toast.

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