The 4 Types of Susanna Reid Fan (who are actually crazy)


Before we even begin can I be the first to admit that I find Susanna Reid a remarkably sexy woman. I am, just like countless other guys up and down the land, always the first in line to turn on morning television and waste an hour or so watching her cross and uncross those magnificent legs while throughly enjoying her teasing shoe play and high heels. God help me should she flash her knickers. If that happens I am straight on to Facebook or Twitter with a supporting photo to tell anyone who cares to listen that Susanna Reid has just showed an inch more legs and sent my blood rushing from my head to a place that I probably shouldn’t speak of.

Is Susanna Reid a talented individual worthy of a contract worth one million British pounds a year? Well, not really. Not if you consider how many attractive 40 something year olds there are in the world and for Susanna Reid to describe herself as a journalist really makes you scratch your head in wonder. A television presenter with sexy legs and a high heel fetish, maybe. A serious journalist with enough talent to warrant even minimum wage… Well, no..

As you can probably imagine any woman who has risen to such heights based on her sex appeal is bound to attract a huge number of male fans and admirers up and down the country. That is fine and dandy but you really have to wonder if she actually realises that the majority of her fans fall in to one of several categories and each one of them is quite clearly insane.

Mr Stealth

If you were to pick any day at random and take to Twitter and perform a quick search for Susanna Reid you would quickly discover a huge number of her male fans desperately trying to initiate some sort of conversation with her. The stealth guy tries to do this by passing himself off as something he is clearly not. What this guy does is make every effort to initiate a conversation with Susanna based on some sort of common ground. The most recent attempt I seen along these lines was a guy who used his twitter account to ask Susanna which website he could use to sponsor her for her efforts in the London Marathon. This guy was actually lucky enough to get a response of the lovely lady herself who provided him with the information that he had requested and gave him a heart felt thank you for his support and his sponsorship.

You do realise that shes not a hooker?

Now, any sane person or regular fan would be satisfied with a direct response from their idol/crush but not this guy. This guy, Mr Stealth, simply had to take things that one step further and make him look like some kind of sex offender who insisted on walking the streets with a banner above his head advertising this fact. Mr Stealth actually followed up his personalised response from Susanna Reid with a tweet which read:- Thank you, Susanna. I will double my donation if you wear sheer tan coloured nylon stockings on tomorrows show.

It might be just me but this is clearly the tweeting actions of a crazy person. This is the equivalent of telling the young girl in Pizza Hut that you will double her tip if she lifts up her skirt a little. It’s not going to work on a waitress in Pizza Hut so it sure as hell is not going to work on Susanna Reid, MILF television presenter and knicker flasher extraordinaire.

The Lech

This guy loves to look at women and he really doesn’t care who knows it. Well, that is not strictly true because the lech will tend to use a pseudo identity to hide who he really is. After all the lech really doesn’t want his wife or his parents discovering about his obsession with celebrities like Susanna Reid who sit with their legs crossed.

Most people have worn out this frame of their video tapes

In years gone by the lech would have been simply content with collecting photos that he had cut from magazines or sitting at home as a spotty teenager ready to hit the pause button on the VCR at the slightest hint of a little leg being shown. Even though that frozen video frame would probably be jumping all over the screen with lines all over the place there would have been little doubt that the one tiny section of video tape that showed Susanna Reid crossing her legs would be worn out in a matter of weeks.

Nowadays things have changed for the lech. No longer does he need to set his video timer for 6am to catch every second of Susanna Reid’s breakfast television show. Nowadays he can simply take to the internet where some helpful fellow lech will have already spent hours scanning through all newly available Susanna Reid footage and posted a detailed index of all the good bits complete with screen captured stills and a nicely edited video of those seductive Susanna Reid legs shots.

Since the sudden boom in technological advancements, particularly the internet, the lech does not stop simply at collecting ten second long clips of Susanna Reid showing off her legs. Nowadays the lech happily shares his Susanna library on social media but he also happily takes to the same social media to tell Susanna just how sexy he thinks she is. This isn’t a case of simply telling her that she is a beautiful woman nor is it a case of him telling her each and every detail of his inner most fantasies. What the lech insists on doing is telling the woman about how sexy he finds it when she crosses her legs, asks her to wear certain clothes and tells her what he thinks of the outfits she happens to wear.
Once again this might just be me being old fashioned but I can’t imagine that telling a woman in your office that you enjoy watching her cross her legs is going to get you very far so why the lech thinks he is going to get anywhere telling Susanna Reid that he likes her long smooth legs would get him anywhere is beyond me.

The Nice Guy

The nice guy Susanna Reid fan is very likely similar to the lech in many ways. He very likely spends much of his time hid away in private looking at his huge collection of Susanna Reid images and video files but he is highly unlikely to share this fact with anyone nor is he very likely to be sharing any of his huge collection of Susanna Reid media with anyone else.

Nearly every Susanna Reid has a Terabyte of Susanna Reid media

The one thing that makes the nice guy Susanna Reid fan stand out in a crowd is that for some really strange and bizarre reason he seems to honestly think and genuinely believe that he stand some kind of chance at a real relationship with Susanna Reid. he happily takes to Twitter to tell her how talented she is, how wonderfully she danced on that reality dancing show the night before and how he thinks her news report on Russian basket weaving happens to be the most inspirational and world changing news report he has ever seen.

God help us if Susanna tells the nice guy that he is ever so sweet because that will send him swiftly back to his Susanna Reid media library for a quick private five minutes before returning to Twitter to tell her something else he love about her or how well she performed in the Great North Run.

You can even find the nice guy Susanna Reid fan on eBays website messaging sellers of Susanna Reid photos that they are out of line and terrible human beings for trying to make money from such a beautiful and talented woman.

That report on Russian basket weaving really must have been something earth moving.

The Woman

The female Susanna Reid is actually the only Susanna Reid fan on our list. Unlike most others on our list the female Susanna Reid is probably not a fan merely out of sexual attraction but more because one of the most important things in her life being reality television shows.

A Natural form of Viagra

The female Susanna Reid fan is your typical bored British housewife who is easily detracted from the real issues in the world by the ever increasing presence of reality television. As any loyal Susanna Reid fan knows she recently appeared on the reality television show – Strictly Come Dancing – and very nearly won the show. While Susanna did not win the show she did win a huge following of new fans who look on her just the way she claims she wants her fans to look upon her – as a bright bit of sunshine in the mornings. All we can say is that if the rumours of her one million pounds a year salary are to be believed that is one expensive ray of sunshine and that is exactly what makes the female Susanna Reid fan insane. They actually believe she is worth every penny.

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